Day 109 - Still sick, originally uploaded by clarity25.

Sorry for being M.I.A., I've been ill.

I'm still sick.

I've been drinking a lot of tea with honey and taking Excedrine. Eric has the day off and he's taking care of me. He's the one pouring the honey..

I feel a little bit better than yesterday though.

I've been taking picture a day for the 365 days project. I just didn't have the energy to resize them and upload them into Flickr. I just did it now so You can click back to see the two previous days.

I need to climb back into bed.

Day 109 of 365 days

Day 108 - In Pain, originally uploaded by clarity25.

I woke up this morning with half of my face entirely swollen. My neck and left arm ached as though I had been run over by a Mack Truck and dragged down the freeway a couple of miles.

I can't eat anything because it hurts to chew. There is this intense hard to describe pain in my jaw. It is enough to cause tears to spring up in my eyes any time I attempted to eat. My head is pounding.

I look like a chipmunk on one side of my face and my eyes are puffy. That's why this picture is cropped, It's a terrifying sight.

I don't know what this is. Some kind of virus? the flu? a tooth infection that spreaded across one whole side of my body? Maybe I'm fight something serious off.

All I know is that I'm in a lot of pain and my body is weak . I'm just in and out of sleep. My stomach is growling but all I can get down is Ramen noodles. I'm going back to bed.

Day 108 of 365 days

Day 107 - We have heat!, originally uploaded by clarity25.

Eric came home with something huge hidden behind his back.

"Guess what I have?"

I was sitting on the sofa wrapped up in a robe and shivering. "Heat?" asked hopefully.

"BINGO!" He presented a Patton Tower Quartz Heater that advertises that it will produce "Sun-like Radiant heat".

I bounced up and down on the sofa and clapped.

He hooked it up and we both put up our feet to the warmth. It's like a fireplace. Our days of a cold apartment are over. Michael watched us in confusion as we hovered around this strange machine.

Oh. Happy Day.

Life is all about the little pleasures...

Too bad I'm having pain in my jaw and swollen glands. I feel like I'm coming down with something.

Day 107 of 365 days

Day 106 - Snowing, originally uploaded by clarity25.

This morning I woke up to the sight of white outside the bedroom window.

I stepped outside. The snow spun and flew around me. I let my head fall back and closed my eyes. The cold flakes hit my cheeks, lips, forehead and melted on my skin. The cool winter air felt invigorating. I took it all in.

Finally

Snow!

Day 106 of 365 days

Day 105 - Every beginning is hard, originally uploaded by clarity25.

Last night I dreamt that we were back in Germany. We were walking down the cobblestone streets together to work, meeting up with our friends at "the Cafe Wunderbar", hearing the churchbells and weaving through the narrow alleyways. The ancient churches, the river running through the small town, the old buildings...

I blinked awake and saw the now familiar view of pristine 2 story homes of American Suburbia. All the homes on our street are new and were built within the past 8 years. I saw the next door neighbor step into his SUV with his business suit and pull out of the driveway.

it's so different here...

I miss Europe so much. Sometimes It feels like a dull ache in my stomach.

We don't have our new car on the road yet. The previous owner lost her title to the car, she claimed it wouldn't be an issue but and the DMV wouldn't accept only the registration last week. So we have to buy her a new title and she has to fill out all these new forms. Meanwhile the car just sits unused without plates while we wait.

It's frustrating, starting over and the struggles we keep encountering to get completely back on our feet since returning to the states. sometimes I just want to take the next plane back...When is it going to get easier?

This morning as I sipped my coffee, I glanced down at the text in the mug. A mug we brought with us from Germany.

"Aller Anfang ist Schwer"

Translation: "Every Beginning is hard."

Day 105 of 365 days

Day 104 - Off center, originally uploaded by clarity25.

I think this picture symbolizes how I was feeling earlier today. Very off center..

But now I'm back on track. I'm terrible at decision making, but once I make one. I feel relief afterwards. Sometimes it's just a matter of getting the right perspective.

Today was also a special day because it marked the FIRST DAY of Eric's job schedule shift. No more waking up at 2:30 A.M. He now works from 8 to 5.it's great to get up and see sunlight for a change. I had natural light at the art table.

That's a shot of my art table in the left hand side of the livingroom. My coffee and sketchbook. It's a good workspace. I snapped this random off center pic during my coffee break.

And Eric will be home in 45 minutes.

Random question of the day:

If you could invite three famous people (actors, politicians, musicians, historical figures) to your house for dinner (living or dead) Which three would you choose? Who would you really like to meet?

Day 104 of 365 days

Day 103 - Coffee and Creativity, originally uploaded by clarity25.

“Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.”

****

It's monday. Eric has the day off.

We're drawing together. There are sketchbooks all over the coffee table, the watercolors and the oil paints...

And we're drinking a lot of coffee.

....and making a mess.

I love when we have the day together to just be creative.

Day 103 of 365 Days

We received this fancy coffee dispenser as a gift from a friend that used to own a Deli. We cook up about 8 cups in our Dial-a-brew II and pour it inside. We have non-stop hot coffee for 12 hours. It's the greatest gadget we own.

Day 102 - Playing pool at 1:30 A.M., originally uploaded by clarity25.

Here's a series of blurry shots taken at our favorite hole in the wall pub.

Everyone was playing pool and I tried to decline because I'm terrible at it. Our friend, Nick wouldn't take "No" for an answer.

So I learned how to play pool last night from a pro. It was fun. Drinking, laughing, music....

This morning I woke up at NOON with a pounding head...

We only had an hour to make lunch, get dressed and clean the house before some more friends arrived.

2 friends from Eric's job and their 3 year old son. He was the cutest little boy I'd ever seen.

They just left and now we're unwinding...

Day 102 of 365 days

Day 101 - My least favorite activity, originally uploaded by clarity25.

Today I took a snapshot of a tedious daily activity that has never before been captured on film.

Sweeping behind the litterbox

Everytime the cats do their thing, they gleefully kick the litter behind the box. It's possibly their favorite activity

Every day I sweep it up. (I even have a special nasty broom for it) It's possibly my LEAST favorite activity.

When they hear me pulling the broom out, they run into the room to observe the ritual. They surround me and watch me sweeping up their mess with fascination. I'm convinced they throw the litter over the side, just to watch me clean it up afterwards.

I put the broom back in the closet and walk out.

Only to hear the sound of the litter hitting the floor again.

Good times. Alright, now that I'm done with that.. I'm heading out the door. I have a lot to do today and not much time.

What's your least favorite activity?

Day 101 of 365 days

Day 100, originally uploaded by clarity25.

This is a shot of me uploading that the day 100 photograph from my camera and cropping into the image on my laptop. A picture within a picture.

100 pictures, 1 a day, every day. I'm surprised I stuck with it so far. I didn't think I'd make it past day 50 but it simply became a part of my daily routine. Just like brushing my teeth, taking a shower and eating dinner.

A lot has happened over the past 100 days of my life.

My father returned from Iraq, I went to Las Vegas on Halloween, witnessed my good friend getting married, I celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family for the first time in over 4 years, We moved into a new flat and bought a car. It's the 20th day of the New Year. Thanks to this photo project every day is documented.

It's not just the act of opening up and offering everyone a window into your existance, but it's creating a photographic personal history to reflect on later in life. I've even made new friends along the way.

Thank you to everyone that has come along for the journey so far

and Thank you to those that shared their own daily life through pictures or words for me to view.

265 days to go....

Day 100 of 365 days

Day 99 - 7 A.M. Coffee Break, originally uploaded by clarity25.

I have real coffee again. (Yesterday's coffee was disgusting.-- see previous picture)

This picture was taken during a coffee break at 7 A.M., I love the early morning light coming in through the blinds. Warm sun, steaming cup of Joe and being comfortable in Eric's Pj bottoms.

This morning I was contemplating life and the goals we set for ourselves.

If you knew you could devote yourself to any single occupation, Music, writing, acting, business, politics, art, medicine..etc and be among the best and most successful in the world at it,

What would you choose?

If you knew you only had a 10 percent chance of being so successful... Would you still put in the effort?

Yesterday we spent the afternoon with our friend, Karen. Today I have to go to the DMV to have our new car inspected, get the plates and hand in the insurance papers.

It's a Toyota Corolla. Yes we finally have a car. It's used. Cheap and has 190,000 miles on it.

But it drives.

,Day 99 of 365 days

Day 98 - Decisions...Decisions..., originally uploaded by clarity25.

Confession: I'm addicted to coffee. When you wake up as early as I do, you need it. I drink about five cups a day.

Yes, I have a problem.

So this morning when I saw we were completely out of coffee powder, I wasn't happy. I rummaged through our cabinet like a crack addict and found a Gourmet Coffee gift box that we received as a christmas gift. When I lifted up the little bags and turned them over, I couldn't help but knit my brows in confusion.

What were my friends thinking?

But I'm desperate.

... which is the better choice for this morning?

Southern Comfort or Jack Daniels?


Day 98 of 365 days

Day 97 - Life on Wisteria Lane, originally uploaded by clarity25.

Today is bitter cold, foggy and overcast. The upstairs neighbors were arguing again, so I stepped away from the art table and took a walk to visit Eric at his job. I wonder if every house on this block only looks perfect from the outside but houses just as much dysfunction and drama.

Yesterday we went to the movie theater and saw "Freedom writers", another version of "Dangerous Minds" and "Stand and Deliver". It was simply updated for 2007. The main character was saint and perfect in every way. A simple flaw (like if she bit her nails or something) would have made her more easy to relate with. But it was a beautiful film regardless. You leave the theater wanting to go out and make a positive change in the world. But the question is: Where to start?

The great promotion and raise Eric was supposed to receive THIS month was postponed until March. A disappointment.

But on the brighter side, His work hours will be changed next week to 8-5. No more waking up at 2:30 A.M. A relief.

The question we have to ask is whether or not he should stay with this job and wait for the promotion...

or move on to a job that makes him more happy? Even if it means a salary cut.

I think it's time for me to resume job hunting. I'm sure there is a job out there that allows us to work together like we did in Europe. We just can't give up the search.

Day 97 of 365 Days

Day 96 - More than water, originally uploaded by clarity25.

60% - 75% of the adult human body is water

82% of blood is water;

70% of the brain

and 90% of the lungs are made up of water

When we're upset or emotional..we leak. Water spills down our cheeks.

It's strange to contemplate this.

When was the last time you cried?

Day 96 of 365 days

Day 95 - I love Sundays, originally uploaded by clarity25.

Another cold winter day. We found a way to stay warm.

We were up late last night. I love relaxing in bed with Eric and sleeping in on Sunday mornings.

He has the day off, so we can lounge in our pajamas and have a long breakfast together.

It's nice having an entirely clear schedule for the day and being able to unwind. It's a rare occurance..

We're going to do some artwork, read together and watch a movie (Million Dollar Baby - anyone see this?) we have no intention of leaving the house.

What are your plans for the day?

Day 95 of 365 Days

Day 94 - COLD, originally uploaded by clarity25.

The temperature is dropping now. There still isn't even a flake of snow falling, but the window was covered in frost. That's a promising sign.

Unfortunately, it's freaking COLD here in the house.

You wonder why I wear knee-high socks. It's not exactly a fashion statement, it's a necessity. I would freeze to death otherwise.

Yes the rent is cheap and everyone is jealous of how little we pay per month for such a spacious flat (by New York Standards). All utilities are covered in one low cost.

But there IS a reason.

I think this picture illustrates that. No matter how high we turn up the heat, it doesn't seem to make much of a difference. That's why I'm curled up in my bathrobe with my knees pulled up. I'm hunched over like YODA right now as I type this. Sitting on my bed with the laptop.

I wouldn't mind if it were at least snowing. I could shiver at gaze at the pretty sight of a layer of fresh snow..

Out of curiosity, How many people reading this can look out their window and see snow right now?

I think I'm coming down with a cold, That might be why I was feeling so weak and out of sorts yesterday.

Day 94 of 365 days

Day 93 - Tired, originally uploaded by clarity25.

Today I'm feeling tired and overwhelmed.

Somedays it's just all too much...

They say everything in life happens for a reason.

Michael always senses when I'm uneasy or worried. He stays by my side and follows me around the house.

A nap couldn't hurt. Then I'll have the energy to face the rest of the day.

I have a lot I need to do.

Day 93 of 365 Days

Day 92 - The eye is the jewel of the body, originally uploaded by clarity25.

“Wine comes in at the mouth
And love comes in at the eye;
That's all we shall know for truth
Before we grow old and die
I lift the glass to my mouth,
I look at it and I sigh.”
-William Butler Yeats (1865-1939)

They say "The eye is a mirror of the soul".

This is a close-up of my eye. You can see Eric, his hand, my camera, the reflection of my eyelashes and the open kitchen window.

You're seeing my life through my eyes.

Day 92 of 365 days

Day 91 - At the art table, originally uploaded by clarity25.

It's almost bedtime.

I'm at the art table trying to finish a portrait job.

It's a hard assignment because the reference picture I have to work from is really tiny.

But He's the cutest little chubby cheeked toddler with a mass of blond curls.

Eric is behind me watching Star Trek Next Generation on T.V. right now. I can hear Patrick Stewart saying "Make it so" and "Engage".

Patrick Stewart has a sexy voice... come to think about it.

Alright, My break is over... back to work

Day 91 of 365 days

Day 90 - Someday..., originally uploaded by clarity25.

My favorite chocolate is DOVE promises. I like just letting them dissolve in my mouth. It's the best chocolate offered in America. (in my opinion)

This morning I unwrapped one and saw this message inside.

It hit home for me. Who would have thought to look in a chocolate wrapper for a grain of wisdom?

We always put things off for tomorrow with the assumption that there WILL be a tomorrow. But you can't forsee that. It's a common delusion. No one wants to come to terms with their own mortality, but we should really live each day as if it's our last.

Because you never know.

This may seem like a strange question, but I'm curious about the answer to this.

If you could be told the precise date of your death...would you want to know?

Day 90 of 365 days

Day 88 - Favorite books, originally uploaded by clarity25.

“Books are the compasses and telescopes and sextants and charts which other men have prepared to help us navigate the dangerous seas of human life.”

I don't have many books.

I used to have hundreds. But everytime I moved from one location to the next, I let go of more and more of them. I gave them away or donated them because I didn't have enough space in the moving boxes.

Now this is all I'm left with, the ones I couldn't force myself part with and always found space for. These are some of my favorite books. If you look at the titles, you can see a lot of my philosophical influences. My books are tattered, worn, and all dog-eared. They each have a history to them.

I'm pointing to my 2 most treasured books

"Butterflies are free" by Leonard Gershe (the original 1969 edition)

And

"The Stranger" by Albert Camus

Not only are they intense and beautiful books (although, completely different in every respect) They're also treasured GIFTS. I wouldn't sell either of them for any amount of money in the world. . You would have to pry them out of my cold dead hands.

What's your all time favorite book?

Today was Eric's day off. We have a new overseas art project, we worked on some sketches and read a little. He's making dinner right now, I'm going to wander into the kitchen and help him. I think we're having Spaghetti and he tends to get very experimental...

I can't leave him alone in the kitchen.

Day 89 of 365 days

(You can also view this bigger to see the book titles if you're curious)

Day 88 - One of those days..., originally uploaded by clarity25.

I woke up this morning with throbbing behind my eyes and my head spinning.

Last night I went out with a group of friends to our favorite local hole-in-the-wall pub. It had been a while since we've done that. Eric's new work hours make it hard. Even though we were exhausted, we went anyway. We knew that we needed to get out and unwind.

There was a lot of drama swirling around us. Romances, lost love, arguments and confrontation. It was like an episode of "Sex in the City" I watched it all unravel and tried to offer good advice but it's hard... When you're married for so long, you almost forget the dynamics of dating. The delicate dance it requires. The jumping back and forth, the uncertainty, the dramatic aspects of not knowing where a relationship is heading.

Most of the friends we hang out with are single free spirits and we've got "the ball and chain.":) I don't miss the dating game though.

When we got home at 4:20 A.M., Eric and I had a few more shots of Vodka Citron.

That sent us over the edge. That's why I stumbled out of bed at 1 P.M., squinting from the bright afternoon sunlight and collapsed on the livingroom sofa. I couldn't peel my body off...

When my cellphone started ringing, the sound hurt my ears. It was my mother reminding me that we had plans with the family...

So I made a cup of black coffee and reluctantly started my day.

My hangovers weren't this bad in college. I must be getting old.

Day 87 of 365 days

In his eyes, originally uploaded by clarity25.

That's a snapshot of my husband's eyes. Sometimes when he talks to me, I just get lost in them. I'm amazed that he loves me, I'm amazed that we're married, I'm amazed at everything we've been through together. I can't really capture these feelings in a photograph.

I can't remember a time when he wasn't a part of my life. I still recall the first time I looked into those eyes....

Day 87 of 365 days

Day 86 - Caught in the act, originally uploaded by clarity25.

This morning when I climbed out of bed and passed the bedroom mirror I had to laugh at what I had actually worn to bed last night. Bright green socks and Eric's crinkled striped button-up shirt.

Well...It was a pretty crazy night.

Eric made a joke about joining the circus when he gave me a kiss before heading out of the door.

Have you ever had a nightmare where you showed up at school or at work with only your pajamas? I was thinking how embarrassing it would be if anyone saw me..

But then I thought...

So WHAT?

I really have to let go of my inhibitions. So many people have posted pictures of themselves in their PJ's, with clay facial masks on, dying their hair, in their panties, making outrageous faces and even naked in the shower.

So here I am. 8 A.M., caught in the act of looking ridiculous. In the awkward posture I would make if anyone walked in on me before I had a chance to get dressed for the day.

It's probably the strangest self-portrait in the set.

Well except for the one where I'm chewing on an eyeball....

Day 86 of 365 days

Day 85 - Morning ritual, originally uploaded by clarity25.

I woke up this morning with a headache and congestion. I'm not feeling very inspired to do a self-portrait. So it's another "sock drawer" day.

This time I'm providing an "intimate glimpse" into my morning rituals, which start like most people. Brushing my teeth. That's my bathroom.

Oh yeah...it doesn't get more exciting than this. I've even added notes.

I'll come up with something more interesting tomorrow. For now, I'm going to lay down.

Day 85 of 365 days

Day 84 - Holding hands, originally uploaded by clarity25.

Eric has the day off today. We spent it together. I love just sitting with him at the kitchen table and talking over coffee. After 4 and a half years of marriage, It's still my favorite way to pass the time together. (well... my second favorite)

I realize we might have been better off in Germany, things were easier there... It's been a struggle since returning to America. But we can't look back, we just have to keep trekking forward. As long as he's by my side and holding my hand, I know we're going to be okay.

I read this excerpt today in a book:

"You've got to suffer in order to truly appreciate. Be scared. Jump in the water anyway. If it's cold and you get a little shrinkage, so what? If you went with your gut, then you made the right decision. Second guessing is the worst. The worst. I hate it and I hate living my life that way. Maybe we're doubting because we've got less control over our position than we have had in the past. So when we get a chance to act, it drives us to the brink of insanity: "This decision I make could affect my life for the next dozen years". That's enough to drive anyone mad. But it's not a healthy way to think. I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt and giving a new situation every possible chance to be a positive one. But if you make a choice and some time down the road it turns out to be a bad one, you also can't be afraid to move on."

We have a six month lease here. We'll see how the next 5 months go. We can either continue the lease or move on.

At least we haven't heard anymore hysterical screams from the upstairs neighbors, so things are calming down. Next step is to introduce ourselves...It never hurts to know your neighbors, right?

Day 84 of 365 days

83 - Domestic Violence, originally uploaded by clarity25.

We live on a very quiet residential street in a 2 apartment house. If I look out the window our livingroom window you see Children riding their bikes, husbands with leaf blowers and christmas lights still on the pristine houses. It's a little too much of a piece of American Surburbia for our taste and judging by the S.U.V's on the driveways... we definitely DO NOT belong. It's like Pleasantville! It's clear that doctors and lawyers live on this street. Our upstairs neighbors never came to visit us, so we haven't met them in person yet.

However the rent is surprisingly affordable and it's really safe, so I can't complain. We have a big backyard and we leave our door unlocked. We've been living here now for 3 and a half weeks.

I was really surprised a half and hour ago when I heard screaming from our upstairs neighbors.

A man yelling on the top of his lungs "F*ck you!!! F*ck you!!!". Then there was more booming shouts. 2 other females started in. I winced and glanced at Eric. He looked back at me in surprise.

Then I heard the sound of things or a person being thrown around(?). It was so loud, I jumped in my seat.

Then a hysterical high pitch scream. It was almost primal. It made goosebumps shoot up my arms.

"Holy crap...", Eric whispered. We were both frozen.

"At what point should we call the police?", I asked

"I don't know... But if we hear a gun shot..then we have to make a call"

There was another loud thump, another heart breaking scream, sobbing, and another insane outburst of profanity.

Eric reached for his cellphone. He listened carefully ready to dial 911

But then the screaming stopped. We heard some lower voices..crying...then a door slam, it made the walls shake.

Then silence.

Eric put his phone down.

That was unsettling and upsetting to hear. I know it's not our business, but it's hard to ignore the sound of domestic violence, especially when it's right above you.

I have an important question to anyone that took the time to read this:

If this happens again.... Should I call the police? Obviously sounds can be deceiving, I know it's foolish to assume I know what's going on up there and I'm not an eyewitness. At what point do you step in and get involved when you hear something troubling like this? I don't have any experience with this, so I don't know.

I spoke with a friend a few minutes ago. She said "Our neighbors fight like that too all the time. Don't worry about it. Every household is different. If the situation gets out of hand, the people involved will seek help. So it's best to turn a blind eye. You don't know these people. It's not your place to get involved. you would be asking for trouble."

She's might be right, but what I just heard up there was very disturbing.

Day 83 of 365 days

Day 82 - A Resolution, originally uploaded by clarity25.

It's a New Year.

I have one resolution and that is to simply let go.

Let go of my fears, insecurities, reservations, inhibitions and my expectations of where I'm "supposed" to be at this point in my life. Just accept that I AM exactly where I'm supposed to be right now. Everything happens for a reason. I have to let go of the things that are holding me back and I have to put myself out there.

In previous years, I wrote long lists with unattainable goals that led to disappointment. I'm letting go of that too.

I know what I need to do.

So this year, I'm just going to do it.

What were your New Years Resolutions?

Day 82 of 365 days

Day 81 - New Years Eve, originally uploaded by clarity25.

On New Years Eve we decided NOT to go to Times Square with some friends.

Instead we celebrated with my family... It's been 9 years since I've done that. For the first time in a long time, the entire family is together in the same state.

It was a fun night. We ate grapes, drank Champagne, beer and later shots. All my siblings (except the youngest that went to bed early) are in their twenties now. I took a lot of hysterical pictures and we were all cracking up. I can't post any of THOSE pics though. They would kill me.

But this picture in some strange way, sums up the night. It was a blur and I might have had too many glasses of champagne. At one point, I fell over laughing.

We definitely entered 2007 with a bang. Together as a family and created some fun memories.

Day 81 of 365 days

Day 80 - My favorite food in the world, originally uploaded by clarity25.

It's saturday night and I'm eating my favorite food in the world...SUSHI!

We're washing it down with cold German beer and watching a movie. It's a relaxing and fun night because we get to sleep in.

Tomorrow is New Years Eve We have two different possible plans for the celebration, but we'll just play it by ear and see where the night leads us.

During the DAY tomorrow, I'm going with my 12 year old sister to a concert.

It's going to be jam packed with a bunch of screaming teenie-boppers. It's sold out and any remaining tickets are being sold for insane prices. It's the biggest event in New York for any child between 7 and 14 years old. I hope I survive this.

Can you guess where we are going? (Only a parent with a pre-adolescent or someone with a little sister would know the answer to this)

One hint. It's a musical based on the biggest grossing film this year for the current "tween" generation. It's bigger than Hannah Montana (another celebrity which she dragged me to meet in the city a few months back HERE) It's sad how I know this stuff. .

I just pray I don't get trampled. Hysterical Teenies are dangerous in masses.

But it will be all worth it when I see the look of pure joy on my little sister's face.

I might not have a chance to update before the next year.

So HAPPY NEW YEARS everyone!!

Day 80 of 365 days

Day 79 - Building an Entertainment system, originally uploaded by clarity25.

We realized we had everything we needed for our New Home, Kitchen table set, sofa set, coffee table, bed, desks, chairs..etc. The one thing we were lacking was a good place to put our television in the livingroom.

We looked for a nice entertainment system and we were a little disheartened at the expensive price tags.

"Lets just build our own", Eric suggested.

So we bought 50 dollars worth of wood at Home Depot and went at it. Eric cut and measured all the beams, I just held up the planks while he did all the drilling. It was a lot of fun.

Afterwards we put up our feet and turned on the television set.

Granted it's not as classy or fancy as a pre-made set but we love it. It does the job well. I'm lucky to have such an innovative and handy hubby. Once we fill all the shelves with books and trinkets, it will be perfect.

So that's it, our flat is finally complete!

Day 79 of 365 days

Day 78 - Dreaming, originally uploaded by clarity25.

Last night I had a strange and realistic dream

I was wandering through the woods near my house. It was raining and I could hear laughter in the distance.

Once I reached the clearing, I saw my junior highschool friends all together riding their bikes in circles. They were talking about stealing pumpkins from the neighbors and lining them up on the sidewalk. When they saw me, they stopped talking.

I thought I was young again, since they all were. I felt this youthful excitment. "hey guys!"

But they looked at me strangely.

"Clarity? you..look different"

I glanced down at my hand and saw my wedding band. I realized they saw me as a twenty-something and not a young teenager. They peered at me in confusion. I felt out of place...and old.

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. I closed my eyes and when I opened them again, I was alone in the woods. It raining harder now and so cold.

I couldn't find my way out of the forest and it was getting dark fast.. There were strange noises coming from every corner..I broke into a run and the sharp tree branches hit against my face.

Then I woke up in a start damp with sweat.

It's weird how some dreams can feel so real that the images stay with you through out the entire day. I wonder if there is any meaning behind the dreams we have or if they're just entirely random.....

Day 78 of 365 days

Day 77 - Still in shock, originally uploaded by clarity25.

You might remember (Here) that my open camera bag/purse accidentally slipped into a public bathroom sink a while ago in Las Vegas. (I had been tired after the long flight and foolishly put it down on the uneven counter ledge.) The automatic motion sensor faucet kicked in and sprayed a torrent of water onto my Sony Cybershot. After a few days it worked again but the battery pack malfunctioned. In order to turn it on, I have to joggle the battery latch while simultaneously pressing the power button. When I get it right, the camera turns on. The camera isn't quite the same anymore and it has a grainy quality. but at low levels it's fine. I'm just happy it works. I wasn't complaining and I carry it with me everywhere.

I never even entertained the IDEA of getting a new camera. Eric and I are too poor and we just focus on the basics for survival.

So on Christmas day when my father handed me the last box under the tree. "Look there's one final gift with your name on it" I didn't have any crazy expectations.

"To Clarity, Love Santa"

Santa? "Santa" hasn't come to visit in years.

I ripped open the corner and saw the box read "Nikon 8.0 megapixels"

I froze.

I just stopped moving all together. My jaw dropped and I felt like the breath was knocked out of me. I shook my head in disbelief and gazed around the room at the smiling expectant faces of my family.

No...

Way.

My eyes filled with tears. I'm such a dork. It's just that I never thought I'd own a Nikon. It's so out of my price range that I didn't even LOOK at them.

I stared at my father with wide eyes. He was the one behind this. He's the family photographer and the man that taught how to take pictures with HIS Nikon.

He smiled and said "Merry Christmas"

I was speechless.

I have a Nikon! It's so heavy. I don't deserve this. 8.0 megapixels?! This is crazy...

I'm still in shock.

My Father added: "Just don't drop this one in the sink, Okay?"

Day 77 of 365 days

Day 76 - Early Christmas morning!, originally uploaded by clarity25.

This is my first time being home with my family for Christmas in 4 years.

Merry Christmas!

Day 76 of 365 days

Day 75 - wrapping gifts, originally uploaded by clarity25.

Yes, I'm a last minute gift wrapper.

In fact, I still have some gifts to buy before the stores close. What time do you think they close today? I have no clue! It's noon. I hope it's not too late.

So I'm grabbing my jacket now and running out the door.

Then I'm going to my family's house for Christmas Eve celebration and staying overnight to celebrate Christmas Day.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Day 75 of 365 days

Day 74 - random, originally uploaded by clarity25.

I'm not feeling very inspired today... as you can see.

But Here's a shot of me picking out a fresh pair of socks for the day. Christmas is coming up, so I'm opting for the Grey and Red Stripes. You get an intimate glimpse into my messy sock drawer. (Nymphobrainiac - Yeah, go ahead. take your pick, you can have any of them. Unfortunately, A lot of them are in the wash at the moment though. so the pickings are slim.)

Yes, I really need to organize that drawer and maybe find the match for the ones that lost their life partners.

One of these days.

Random Question: Do you consider yourself an organized person. How often to you have to look for your keys?

There was an electrical short in our flat at 4:00 A.M.

One minute I was making breadrolls, the next minute I was thrown into absolute darkness. I fumbled around aimlessly searching for a flashlight... but that was in one of the unpacked boxes. I don't even know where the circuit box is in our new apartment.

I couldn't find my cellphone to call Eric. So I just sat there in the dark. Luckily I have a laptop. But eventually that battery died too.

I munched on my half-baked breadrolls and sipped my cold coffee. A wonderful start to the day.

I have to head out for last minute Christmas shopping and I think Eric took my set of house keys along with his own to work.

*sigh*

I hope this isn't an indication of how the rest of my day is going to be...

Day 74 of 365 days

Day 72 - Contemplation, originally uploaded by clarity25.

Contemplating life

on Day 72 of 365 days

Day 71, originally uploaded by clarity25.

I have a strange sleeping schedule. I'm up at 2:30 A.M. every morning with Eric. We both fall asleep around 6:30 - 7 P.M.

This really makes it hard to maintain a social life. Most of our friends return home from their jobs around 6 - 6:30. When they want to go out and party, we're already fast asleep.

They don't call as much anymore to invite us out, because it's pointless.

There's something that feels unnatural about waking up so early. I feel drained and tired by noon. I usually take a 15 minute nap just to keep myself going.

Sure, I could just keep sleeping while Eric gets ready to work. ...But I love our breakfast time together and falling asleep in his arms at night. I like working on my portrait jobs while he's away. This way we have the afternoons free together.

We need to find 9 to 5 jobs like the majority of the world...I'm still job hunting.

It's time for bed.

Question: What hours do you work?

Day 71 of 365 days

Day 70 - At the new Kitchen table, originally uploaded by clarity25.

My husband and I worked together in a multimedia company when we lived in Germany. He was the art director, I was the illustrator. We did projects for companies like Mercedez Benz, GreenPeace, and Dr. Oetker

When we moved to New York, we couldn't find a job in the area together. So He took a job outside of his field and I worked freelance. It's a hard transition...For four years we were together 24 hours a day.

Our friends always asked us whether we got sick of eachother, but we didn't. I loved it. We feed off of eachother's creative energy. We even did projects together in Art college. We would swap Canvas's and paint on eachother's work. We were always a team.

We still get the occasional overseas art project to work on together.

But it's not the same.

So I'm sending out our resumes and seeing whether we could get a job again together. I've been busy with that today. It might be a pipe dream. What we had in Germany might have been a once and a lifetime thing... but it's worth a shot.

Our friend gave us his old kitchen table. (see picture) I love it! Our flat is slowly coming together and really feels like home.

The mornings are sometimes lonely though.

...without Eric.

But most people don't work together with their significant others, so I guess it's: "Welcome to the Realworld, Clarity"

I really can't complain about our life. At times, I just miss how it was in Europe...

Day 70 of 365 days

Day 69 - Fill in the blanks, originally uploaded by clarity25.

Here's a candid shot of me and my husband, Eric in the hallway. I love Eric's confident smile (the smile that captured my heart) and the way he's holding my hand. Meanwhile, I look like I'm afraid of the camera.

We have the day off today, so unlike most people... I love Mondays. We can relax around in the morning in our comfortable clothes, have a long breakfast, read together and listen to music.

Our friend is moving and he's letting us have his kitchen table set. We're thrilled. Eric is picking it up right now, I can't wait to see it.

I'm heading out to the post office to FINALLY send out my christmas cards.

Any chance of my cards arriving to my friends and family before Christmas? It doesn't seem promising... I can NEVER get my cards out in time.

Maybe next year....

Well, at least they're being sent... that's more than I can say for last year's batch.

Time to head out. I still have a lot to do today and my little sister is having a christmas recital tonight at her school. I promised her I would be there.

Day 69 of 365 days

Day 68 - the face behind the camera, originally uploaded by clarity25.

This picture was taken in the bathroom mirror 4 minutes ago. I'm wearing my winter jacket and I'm about to go out. It's Eric's day off and we have a lot of random errands to run. (Christmas shopping in particular)

That's my camera, It's a Sony DSC - H2. I received it as a birthday gift this summer. That's what motivated me to start a Flickr account in the first place. I just wanted a place to store my photos for my friends to view and I didn't really intend on spending much time on this website.

Then I got involved in the 365 Days project and now I'm snapping a photo each day. Even days when I'm not feeling particularly creatively inspired. (such as today for example) I still put something out there to record the day in my life. I know this daily photographic journey will be interesting for me to look back on, so I'm determined to stick it through. I've also come in contact with a lot of creative and inspiring people through this photography site. Plus this helps me keep in touch with a lot of my friends from college, highschool and Germany. Almost everyone has a Flickr account these days.

I have never posted a full shot of my face. It's a challenge to find ways to avoid it and still end up with a somewhat interesting self-portrait. I explained why on day 39.

I believe that life is too short. We only have a limited time on earth and I think that sharing a little of yourself with others is a good thing. You realize through 365 Days that we're all kind of connected and it gives you the opportunity to peer into the daily life of people from all over the world. It's nice to be a part of it.


Eric is ready to go. Time to log off

Have a good weekend.

-Day 68 of 365 days

Day 67 - You know your hubby REALLY loves you when..., originally uploaded by clarity25.

....He watches The Season Two DVD boxset of Gilmore Girls with you.

Yes, I secretly like that show.

I didn't hear about it until I moved to Germany. When the popularity of this show began to spread, I was DETERMINED NOT to catch the disease. It looked too cheesey for my taste. My friend lent me the boxed set of Gilmore Girls Season 1 (In English with German subtitles). I gave her a polite smile and thanked her.

With only 4 German channels, I turned to it in desperation one night...

Only to discover that I actually liked it.

The rapid fire dialogue (the characters deliver their lines at about 500 words per minute without even taking a breathe in-between) was filled with witty literary and Pop culture references that really amused me. I could even overlook the sheer unbelievability of the relationship between the mother and daughter. The sap level is through the roof and yet it's the most relaxing way to unwind after a stressful day from hell.

Eric endures the show with me despite the sometimes predictable plot devices and awful music. He even laughs.

Now THAT is love.

But I KNOW I'm not alone with this, I know there must be a guy out there that has their girlfriend sit through Countless "Star Trek" episodes or a girl that makes their husband watch something awful like "Americas Next Top Model" Here's my confession. So fess up....

Day 67 of 365 days

Day 66, originally uploaded by clarity25.

“In nine lifetimes, you'll never know as much about your cat as your cat knows about you.”

****

Taking a 15 minute nap in the late afternoon...

What do you do when your cat thinks it's fun to chew on the T.V. Cables?

I'm afraid that I'm going to return home to find Michael electrocuted behind the television set.

I can't understand this. Yesterday I caught him gnawing on the christmas lights...

Day 65 - Coffee Break, originally uploaded by clarity25.

I'm feeling less stressed today. Everything seems easier after a good night's sleep.

So I changed my dial-a-brew II Coffeemaker setting down from deep red to light pink. Now I'm taking a fifteen minute coffee break

Random Question:

"If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one ability or quality...what would it be?"

Eric and I currently having a discussion about this. It's 1 P.M. He just returned from work.

Day 65 of 365 days

Day 64 - Stress, originally uploaded by clarity25.

I was up until 1:30 A.M. with my bestfriend. We just sat up together talking. Her flight back to Florida leaves today. I couldn't fall asleep right away because I had to wake up Eric at 2:30 A.M. for work. I finally crashed at 4:30 A.M.

Now it's 10 A.M. and I'm utterly exhausted but I can't fall back to sleep. Too much to do today. Not much time because at 4 I have to visit my family for my sister's real birthday. We're going out to dinner and having a cake.

I still have 5 more Charcoal portrait jobs and one oil painting to complete before Christmas.

I didn't start ANY of my christmas shopping because I was waiting for the bonus check so I can afford to. (Christmas was so much more fun as a child, wasn't it?)

If I can just make it through this day, I'll be fine...

Right now I'm looking at my calender

and I feel

STRESS.


Day 64 of 365 days

Day 63 - christmas cards, originally uploaded by clarity25.

We finished our job (I was up until 6 A.M. working on it!) and sent it out to the boss via E-mail this morning. I'm happy with how it came out.

Now I'm filling out my christmas cards. I wanted to finish them last week, but circumstances just didn't allow it. Time is running out. Christmas is just around the corner. Is there anyone else out there that hasn't finished their Christmas cards yet or am I alone in this?

I only have a few hours before some friends arrive. It's my bestfriend's last night in New York. She's flying back to Florida tomorrow. I feel like I didn't get enough time with her.

I wish I wasn't so tired.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if you could take a pill that would allow you to sleep only ONE HOUR a night and wake up fully refreshed? Then I'd be able to accomplish everything I want to do...

Day 63 of 365 days

Day 62 - Tender is the Night, originally uploaded by clarity25.

We have until tomorrow morning to complete our freelance assignment. We're a little stressed.

Eric and I have been taking turns reading to eachother while the other one works on the computer.

We have two new books. "Tender is the Night" by F. Scott Fitzgerald and "Anna Karenina" by Leo Tolstoy.

We started with "Tender is the Night", I'm captivated by the descriptive words and the captivating characters introduced. The writing style is so different from novels of today. It took F. Scott Fitzgerald 9 years to write this novel and I can understand why.

Back to reading...

It's going to be a long night.

Any other good books to recommend?

Day 62 of 365 Days

Day 61 - Lazy Sunday, originally uploaded by clarity25.

"I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all.

Remember this - very little is needed to make a happy life."

****

It actually isn't a Lazy Sunday. There is a lot to do today.

I just took 15 minutes to step away from it all and be lazy. Life is so short. It doesn't hurt to take a moment to appreciate it. A moment to look at how far you've come and where you're heading.

I sat in my room and gazed out the window. The afternoon light is fading.I watched a little girl run down the driveway to pick up the newspaper and run back into the house laughing because she was still in her pajamas in public. I listened to the sound of my husband's voice as he sang along with "Soul to Squeeze" by Red Hot Chili peppers in the livingroom. I felt the warmth of the heat kicking in and streaming from the ceiling vents. I enjoyed the taste of coffee as I sipped it from my second hand shop mug.

We might not have much as far as finances right now (Okay, so we're poor...I'm not exaggerating on the starving artists description)

but we're happy. We have good friends, a good marriage, a good life. The housewarming party last night had been fun, our friends came with baskets filled with wine, tea, cookies and even a little portable stovetop. I'm so grateful for them, for everything.

**If you're reading this right now, take a moment to appreciate what you have. Life is fleeting and yes, this IS as good as it gets.**

My coffee cup is empty now. Time to get back to work.

Day 61 of 365 days

Day 60 - Blowing up Balloons, originally uploaded by clarity25.

Today is my sister's 12th birthday.

She took this photo of me in the middle of blowing up a balloon.

We blew up 50 balloons and put up countless decorations. It took 4 hours.

The party was fun, but exhausting. After all her friends ate the cake, they began running around the house on a manic sugar high. One girl got a bloody nose, another girl slid down the wall and started having an asthma attack. They were crazy!

Finally I managed to distract them with "Pirates of The Caribbean 2" and they settled down.

I just returned home.

Now I have to clean the house because in 2 hours we're having a small housewarming party. I'm exhausted already but I can't call it off now and disappoint my friends. I'm sure it will be a lot of fun.

It will be so nice to kick back and have a drink. But first I have to do the dishes and get this place in order before they arrive.

I just know it's going to be a LONG night....

Day 60 of 365 days

(Yes, I fell a day behind with the 365 project during my move, but now I'm all caught up.)