83 - Domestic Violence, originally uploaded by clarity25.

We live on a very quiet residential street in a 2 apartment house. If I look out the window our livingroom window you see Children riding their bikes, husbands with leaf blowers and christmas lights still on the pristine houses. It's a little too much of a piece of American Surburbia for our taste and judging by the S.U.V's on the driveways... we definitely DO NOT belong. It's like Pleasantville! It's clear that doctors and lawyers live on this street. Our upstairs neighbors never came to visit us, so we haven't met them in person yet.

However the rent is surprisingly affordable and it's really safe, so I can't complain. We have a big backyard and we leave our door unlocked. We've been living here now for 3 and a half weeks.

I was really surprised a half and hour ago when I heard screaming from our upstairs neighbors.

A man yelling on the top of his lungs "F*ck you!!! F*ck you!!!". Then there was more booming shouts. 2 other females started in. I winced and glanced at Eric. He looked back at me in surprise.

Then I heard the sound of things or a person being thrown around(?). It was so loud, I jumped in my seat.

Then a hysterical high pitch scream. It was almost primal. It made goosebumps shoot up my arms.

"Holy crap...", Eric whispered. We were both frozen.

"At what point should we call the police?", I asked

"I don't know... But if we hear a gun shot..then we have to make a call"

There was another loud thump, another heart breaking scream, sobbing, and another insane outburst of profanity.

Eric reached for his cellphone. He listened carefully ready to dial 911

But then the screaming stopped. We heard some lower voices..crying...then a door slam, it made the walls shake.

Then silence.

Eric put his phone down.

That was unsettling and upsetting to hear. I know it's not our business, but it's hard to ignore the sound of domestic violence, especially when it's right above you.

I have an important question to anyone that took the time to read this:

If this happens again.... Should I call the police? Obviously sounds can be deceiving, I know it's foolish to assume I know what's going on up there and I'm not an eyewitness. At what point do you step in and get involved when you hear something troubling like this? I don't have any experience with this, so I don't know.

I spoke with a friend a few minutes ago. She said "Our neighbors fight like that too all the time. Don't worry about it. Every household is different. If the situation gets out of hand, the people involved will seek help. So it's best to turn a blind eye. You don't know these people. It's not your place to get involved. you would be asking for trouble."

She's might be right, but what I just heard up there was very disturbing.

Day 83 of 365 days

 
posted by Clarity: 365 days at 2:24 PM |


1 Comments:


At Sunday, January 21, 2007, Blogger candoor 

the unfortunate reality of domestic violence is that you are an outsider and you will most likely find all of the 'fighters" will tell you that do not belong in their business and often the "victim" will turn the anger on you, even physically, if you intrude at the peak of their hysterical and embarrassing situation...

on the other hand, gunshots are reason to call the police... so is a sudden crash, scream, thud, and person dashing from the house like they just killed someone... take a photo of the fleeing person from your window without letting them see...

if you feel you could handle it, knocking on their door and introducing yourself as their new neighbors might work to diffuse the situation, especially if you have a cake or cookies or something and seem like you were just coming back from shopping (and not hearing the violence from downstairs... be prepared to be shouted at and accused of butting in anyway and don't say much but something like "oh, sorry, we didn't mean to intrude, just trying to be friendly neighbors as we just moved in, we'll be downstairs when you have time if you want to meet us" and smile and head downstairs without a word...

the fact that there were two women's voices make it less likely that it's the typical one-on-one domestic violence... sounds more like a mother or mother-in-law putting pressure on a husband or a mother trying to deal with an unruly son and her daughter... but that's just a guess...

best move from my perspective is try to make that "hello, we're your downstairs neighbors" visit when things are quite and feel out who lives there, what their relationships are, and be sure to subtly point out that the walls are very thin and they should feel comfortable letting you know if your TV or anything is too loud from downstairs (and hopefully they'll say the same thing)...

it's a whole lot easier to help an abuse victim, if there is one upstairs, after they are no longer total strangers and you know something about the situation...

conventional wisdom says it's not your business... I say, tred respectfully and carefully let them know you are right there in the same house and would like to live in a peaceful friendly house...

hope this helps, but remember, I don't know the details and these are just my thoughts and could very well not work or backfire if the hostility upstairs is too out of control... above all else, you don't want to become part of the conflicts...



<body>